Writing is difficult for me to do.  I have terrible grammar and often don't realize words are missing.

Journal Entry 1 April 24th, 2015

That F$%#ing Book

As I write this first entry, Bokeh Box is slightly over 5 years old.  In that time, Bokeh Box has gone from a Muay Thai and fight photography company to a beer company.  I've done everything from fight, family, portraits, products and of course, beer photography.  At some point in that time I created a beer festival, Art of Beer as well.  It's been a strange journey and now I sit here wondering how I got here.

Bokeh Box the beer company it is today started off with an idea for a book. I was new to the beer industry and having for some unknown reason, volunteered to do photos for Sacramento Beer Week.  After toiling away with a number of free events, I decided I should try to monetize it.  I quickly learned, that the public does not want pay for their drunk photos in public.  I turned my attention to breweries instead.  A brewery coffee table book, that was the original goal.  Me and Rick Sellers, the famous beer writer and me, the new photographer.  I started photographing breweries and planning the book.  Four years later, I still don't have a book finished.  Hell, I even found a publisher  and  I still don't have a book done.

Where did I go wrong?  Is the book yet another failure to add to laundry list of things I attempted with the best intentions but was never really to succeed at?   I wonder if it's become a running joke with my friends,  especially the ones that are brewers.  I wonder if that guy with the never published book has become part of my identity?  Part of me thinks the book should never be finished.  It should continue to be that thing that people understand that you talk about but, know you'll never do.  Like the stupid kid that dreams of becoming an astronaut, people find your dreams cute but know they'll never happen.  God bless all of your that humor me with a smile when the topic arises though.

So this is my first step to doing something about this book.  I wrote something.  It's not profound, it's not beer geeky, I'm not really sure it's about beer.  It's about a man searching for a reason.  A reason to quit, to fight, or a reason to continue.  Anything that moves me forward from this feeling of self complacency.

Enjoy it, it's gonna get weird.

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